Suffolk Wedding Photography
Weddings are always a wonderful celebration for bringing together those we love the most. But depending on your family dynamic and your aspirations for the day itself, you may well have your own views on who you would really love to be there to witness your exchange of vows.
Something that often comes up for me, at wedding consultations, is the conversation around proposed attendance numbers, and sometimes, a somewhat sheepish remark is dropped in quickly and sheepishly to the conversation:
"Oh, and yeah, we're also not having children at the wedding?"
My couples are often a little taken back by my quick and affirmative reply of "Ok, cool. Tell me more about who will be coming along". It's sometimes as if they were waiting for a long pause, an uncomfortable chuckle or something else that would have me inquiring further, as to why.
In the main, this apprehensive question seems to be based on previous conversations where they have approached the matter with friends and family during their initial wedding preparations. I guess because traditionally, children have often just been automatically invited in the past, it's taken a little while for culture to shift and to accept that for some of us, inviting little ones just isn't a great fit for our big day.
There can be lots of reasons why some couples choose not to have kids in attendance, spanning from needing to comply with specific venue limits for guests, to just simply wanting adults in attendance, as it's their preference. There are a host of reasons why and in my opinion, it shouldn't be something that you continually have to justify.
I always say to my clients that you should always make your decisions for your wedding day, based on what you both would really love. You don't want to look back on your big day and feel that your decisions were based on what other people want, or think that you should have.
I appreciate that every family is different and there are sometimes certain elements that have to be compromised, but I don't feel the conversation around whether children will be in attendance, should be a big deal.
In fact, a lot of the time, the preconception of what people will say, is hugely different from their actual responses It's almost as if we just immediately think that parents are going to be put out by our decisions when actually it's totally ok.
I know that as a parent with young children myself, the prospect of having a child-free day to enjoy myself would often be a bonus! Parents often do not have much time for themselves, to enjoy themselves in an adult environment and so it's often welcomed. Besides, with wedding invitations being sent out well in advance, there is ample time for families to arrange adequate childcare.
So I guess that my closing advice is to always go with your gut and make decisions based on what feels right for you. Safe in the knowledge that those that love you, just want you to have an amazing day and will be more than happy to go along with whatever you choose for your wedding.
P.S - If you would like to discuss your wedding plans at any time, you'll find more info on the services I offer here.